As Always

I've come back to comment on how much things have changed.
Looking back at old posts makes me laugh. When I was twelve I liked to believe I was a genius, and that everyone was my inferior. So arrogant (yet true).
-waves hand over head-
Well then. I.....don't know what to say.
-flies away-

I don't

Write as often as I should anymore. I'm starting to realize that as I get older, the more I have to write about, the less I write. I could talk about the strange experiences I've had this summer, my four ex boyfriends, my current boyfriend, I could think of a reason to why I even bother going out with guys now after going through two heartbreaks (one of which is described in this blog, sayyyy September and October of last year. Yep. The other one happened in May, and I talked about it in my other blog which remains secret because I write about things I would never want people to know about there so yayayaya). Yep. So the wonders of being a teenager.
-sigh-.
So I don't feel to hot right now. Whether it is the spicy Mexican food I ate today (and the only thing I ate today, actually..) or the real reason and the reason I can't list here because too many people I know know about this blog, and I like to keep secrets and not let people know about stuff so yeah....
(What was I talking about again?)
This post is kind of disorganized because I, well, just kind of need to write something but nothing in particular. I might follow up with a poem or something...or work on a story I've been writing (it's been the first story I've written since April, when I took a creative writing class...God, it's so sad that I don't write as much as I used to...).
It's about love and loss. Generic. But in a non-generic way. Actually, a very generic way now that I think of the plot, but everybody loves the generic crap these days. If I through in a couple of vampires, I could make a best seller. But I'm not going to do that, because I'm generally freaking fed up with vampires and all the people who make pathetic attempts to create more pathetic version of the already pathetic Twilight series (my relationship with Twilight is both love and hate, but let's not get into that...), and there are so many other ideas out there to be had, other than writing vampire teen romances. When it first came out four years ago, it was cool. Now it's just unoriginal and sappy.
Anyway....yeah. I've actually had some inspiration for a poem that I will go ahead and write....
Oh. Listen to this song.
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve.
It's pretty.

Holy Friggin Crap

I think I'm just going to stop by every now and again and talk about how unbelievably long it's been from the last point in time I put any effort into my blog. I actually use another one now, by a different name that I don't really tell anyone about....I write about more personal issues there. But yeah. Maybe I'll start writing in this one again...and I probably will, although it's been such an incredibly long time.....I still have written a lot in this blog, and laugh looking back at old posts about Tristan and how much I was in love with him. If you didn't know (you probably didn't) we broke up last September, and it took me ages to move on. Then I met Daniel, who was an ass, then Kevin, who I went out with for a week and a half, and am currently going out with Duke. I constantly get into shit with guys...I have a lot of experience for a fifteen year old (oh, and I'm fifteen now too, just turned it a few days ago, actually...) which has its advantage and disadvantages.
Oh, and with all the boy issues aside, I'm going into sophmore year at International Academy. And...yeah. That's basically all the blah I can barf out right now. I just wanted to make a very blunt post, nothing poetic to rock your minds. I'm going to start writing on a regular basis again...it'll be nice :D

It's Been A While...

As you can clearly see. And let's face it, no one reads my blog at all. I've had it since I was twelve. That was two years ago. I'm fourteen now, turning fifteen in July. Things have changed. New problems have risen. I'm different. So, I'm going to make a third blog. Hurray! Because I really need somewhere to write everything out, and the internet seems like the best place. As strange as that sounds.

Something to write

Something to write? Nothing really that comes to mind. I'm sitting at a computer, aware that my hair is most likely frizzy and greasy from the last day. I'm also listening to the stranges band I've ever listened to...Girl Talk. Ever heard of it? Well, neither have I. They seem to have all their songs as melodies of other songs....I've picked out a few that I know...
So yeah. I don't want to write really. Well, I do, but what is there to say? I'm afraid of critics. I'm afraid I'm not good enough for the rest of the world. I would rather run out into cold rain. Actually that sounds more enjoyable....if only it would stop snowing...

Children

When you grow older, you seem to finally get the hang of what's going on around you. Those passive looks, those quick glances, the empty silences dripping with anticipation, everything that you just took for 'grown-up stuff' makes sense. You can know what everyone is thinking, what everyone is feeling, and you don't even have to ask.
I wish I could stay hidden behind the mask of childhood. Who wouldn't want to be oblivious? Being oblivious to the world that hangs around is the ability to be thankful for things that really should matter. But if we are so oblivious to everything, do we forget to see that simple beauty? Do our lives become so confused that we can't even see beyond our own noses?
What if everyone was like a child? We would be no where. We would lack in maturity. Nothing would get done without the intuitive sense and wisdom you gain once you grow older.
But I really do think that childrens' intelligence can go beyond that of an adult. Because, when you are young, you really do see things that matter. Children aren't busy, are never troubled, and are always having fun; there is nothing that can be expected to come out of a child's mouth. As soon as you get older, you realize how boring life really can be. I really don't understand why being so carefree is so hard...

Should Have Done this Earlier...But, Recap!

Recap of the year, that is! All the major events and ridiculously stupid things that I did as a thirteen and fourteen year old. I did this last year...didn't I? TRADITION! Of course, it's sixteen days in, but what the hell! Mine as well start now....

January
I start life at school slowly again, remaking alliances and fitting back in.

February
Valentine's Day comes along...I get about seven carnations, and my valentine is Tristan.

March
What happened? I really don't remember. Just that school was ending fast, and I wanted to make it last.

April
Frantic studying for the IA entrance exam. I take it, wait for the answer, and to my surprise and happiness, I get in. This was a pretty good month for me.

May
Tristan asks me out. I say yes. The end of the year trip begins, and it's a blast.

June
Spend about three days in Chicago. The best three days of my life. I have to admit, I was having a lot of fun. I go to Florida for two weeks and get my scuba diving certification. Also, my brother gets married. I dance with all his drunk friends, and finally I might get a niece or a nephew.

July
I run away a day before my birthday because of a fight I got in with my mom. I run to my dojo and meditate. I get grounded the next day. I also go to Point Pelee with Gaby, and we have a blast.

August
The month of mistakes. Why did I do any of it, I don't know. The dream cruise comes along. And then finally, school starts. High school. I'm scared, afraid, and I don't belong.

September
I stare at the phone and scream. I cry. I'm probably in worse conditions then I have ever been in. I haven't really been broken like this before. I don't even recover by the end of the month. Nothing will be the same again.

October
I visit the biggest haunted house in the world with Gaby and Michael. It wasn't too bad. Went trick or treating with them later. I feel a bit better.

November
Charity Ball on the 8th, otherwise known as IA's homecoming. I've never had so much fun at a dance. I don't have to worry, and I'm so carefree. I also start to like someone new...

December
One of my best friends seriously hurts herself...I'm devastated.
I visit California, away from the freezing cold weather. I also decide that I love photography. And that airplanes are scary.

WOO! So that's my life in a nut shell. Yep. You cared enough to get this far.